Why hast thou forsaken me?

Well if you keep up with the Evolution-vs-Creation debate the way I do you might have heard that Dr. Kent Hovind(degree purchased through Patriot Bible University) is in jail awaiting sentencing for felony tax evasion. Now Kent has used his bullshit degree for years to spread the word of God; lying about evolution, science, the Bible, dinosaurs, mankind, the universe and Jesus Christ. Hovind runs a creationist theme-park (Dinosaur Adventure Land) and whores his pimply ass out for speaking engagements. In his eyes the resulting filthy lucre is a holy thing of God not to be rendered unto Caesar.

Dr. Dino (as he calls himself) was convicted on twelve counts of willful failure to collect, account for and pay federal income and FICA taxes, forty-five counts of knowingly structuring transactions to avoid federal reporting requirements and one count of corruptly impeding the administration of internal revenue laws. Hovind has essentially structured his defense around "You can't tax me, I work for God".

Anyway, in between fulfilling his duties to Bubba and his other cellmates, Hovind has been keeping his blog updated with the list of reasons why God allowed him to be convicted. I thought I would share it with everyone so that we can humbly entreat God not to test us as he has this poor piece of rat-shit:

Why Did God Allow This? Maybe God wants me…….

1. To receive punishment for my sin.
2. To use me in an area in the jail that needed salt. (Matt. 5:13)
3. To let me be prepared for a new phase of ministry and this is boot camp.
4. To be humbled by God.
5. To allow God to see how fellow Christians react. He is gathering evidence for their day of reckoning. The same is true for me.
6. To give me time off to reflect, refresh, recharge, and renew my Bible study and prayer time.
7. To let me see the anguish my grandkids, who love me dearly, are going through, so that I would be more compassionate with kids to whom I preach, or that are visiting DAL, whom have similar experiences with jailed loved ones.
8. To show me how much can be done with so little. These men can make all sorts of things like water heaters from toothbrushes, and tattoo guns from ink pens. Most Christians are wasteful of God’s resources.
9. To give me a better appreciation for our veterans who slept in swamps and other squalid conditions for my freedom. I will hug POW’s from now on.
10. To gain me a renewed appreciation for missionaries who leave family and comforts to spread God’s word.
11. To bring my thought, prayers, and concerns into action by inspiring me to visit those in the hospitals who never get visitors.
12. To let me see first hand and up close, the results of sin in a man’s life.
13. To let me see men pace back and forth like caged lions. Truly the wicked are like the troubled sea that cannot rest.
14. To let me see my God’s law, which is perfect, converting the soul, authorizes: beatings, four times restitution, and execution for crimes, but never imprisonment. Certainly there are Roman and Egyptian prisons, but none authorized by God. This system costs everyone in many ways, and does little good and much harm.
15. To give me a taste of what awaits in the tribulation. The “state” control in that time will be overpowering.
16. To allow me to experience the joy of holding hands in a prayer circle with nine men on fire for Jesus while facing severe sentences.
17. To make me order my priorities better. I cannot ever let my family fail, while I build a ministry.
18. To make me more like Jesus, the man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.

I hear they'll be replacing the Book of Job with the Book of Hovind in the next edition. Maybe they'll also straighten out that Genesis misunderstanding while they're at it and let us all get back to work.